I am so upset with my fiance right now.  He has been renting a room in my parents house so that we can save money before we get married in January.  They don't charge him very much for food and rent and in return he is just expected to keep his room and bathroom clean.  It's not very difficult.  But for being a such a simple task it seems like an impossible task for him to actually follow through on.  He has been spoken to on many occasions about this and he never seems to get it.  He is very intelligent (book smart) but he is just pretty much completely common sense dumb.

The thing is that I always take his side and defend him when he's not here and what really made me angry today is that he assumed that I never take his side.  He claims to know me so well and then he believes that I wouldnt take his side first and defend him when he's not there to defend himself?  That actually completely pissed me off.  I mean, I believe that if I  did something to upset his fmaily that before he heard everything he would take my side and defend me.  I dont believe that I would need to be TOLD that he defended me.

Does everything need to be spelled out for him?  I could see the need to spell something out in the beginning...but it has been months!

I always say that he was raised differently....they had different standards....he's a guy....he's 23....

I ALWAYS have excuses for him.

The thing was that this time it was important for my mom that the bathroom be clean because my brother and his family were visiting and they (my brother and his wife) were going to have to use that bathroom as well.  My fiance semi cleaned the bathroom...somehow he missed the mold on the shower curtain on the inside of the shower....I really have no idea how you could miss that...  Anyway, I told him that if he missed it before they came he surely saw it after they came and could have fixed it then....he didn't...

Then, he probably pissed of every member of my immediate family with little comments that he made.  Isn't one supposed to be on their best behavior with their significant others family before the wedding?  I would imagine that's how it's supposed to be.

Now, I'm not really one to hold my tongue and watch what I say, but I recognize that there is a time and place for everything and there is a time and place to watch what you say.  You cannot always say whatever the hell pops into your head.  You need to think and then speak.  It's funny when a small child says something without thinking or knowing what they said...not so much when the person not thinking is a 23-year-old male.

I love him so much...no matter what...but you're supposed to be able to bend...not be so stuck in your ways.

I don't understand why he doesn't seem to understand what is expected of him.  After all, it isn't actually that much.

I was reading about my birthdate/personality...it said this:

"Your mind is like the tides which are also controlled by the Moon - one moment high - next moment low. Your Karmic challenge is to learn the proper control of feelings. When to express and when to hold back."

It's so true.  It does always seem that at one moment I'm happy and the next I'm down and out.

It's another sleepless night
As I sit thinking
Staring into another starless sky

The rain continues falling
Softly hitting the ground and
Erasing the memories of the day

I'm hoping that tomorrow
Will be better
Anything will be an improvement

Darkness continues on
In a seemingly endless path
Nothing ever changes, it always stays the same